Tuesday, July 17, 2012

30 Jokes Your Kids Will Love


30 Kid-Approved Jokes

To say that my son loves jokes would be an understatement. I'm constantly on the lookout for more kid appropriate jokes to spare me from hearing the same ones over and over. So I thought I'd share some of the ones that make us giggle. I've also asked several amazing bloggers about their kid-tested favorites and I've included them at the end of this post. I hope your family gets a laugh, and a knee slap, out of them too!

Silly Puns


1. Why did the chicken cross the playground?  
  -To get to the other slide.
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2. What do you call a pig that knows karate? 
  - A pork chop!
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3. Why do bees have sticky hair?  
  -Because they use honeycombs.
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4. Why was the man running around his bed?  
  -He wanted to catch up on his sleep.
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5. What does a robot frog say?  
  -Rib-bot. (Said in your best robot voice)
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6. Why is 6 afraid of 7?  
  -Because 7 8 9!
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7. What's black and white, black and white, black and white? 
  -A penguin rolling down a hill!
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8. Why do cows wear bells?  
  -Because their horns don't work!
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9. What does a snail say when it's riding on a turtle's back?  
  -Weeeee!!
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10. How did the barber win the race?  
  -He knew a short cut.
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Knock Knock Jokes


11. Knock, knock.  
  -Who's there?
Boo.
  -Boo who?
Please don't cry. It's only a joke.
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12. Knock, knock.
  -Who's there?
Nobody.
  -Nobody who?
(Stay silent)
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13. Knock, knock.
  -Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
  -Interrupting c..
MOO!!!
(Can be used with any animal. Just interrupt the other person with the corresponding animal noise!)
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14. Knock, knock.
  -Who's there?
Cows say.
  -Cows say who?
No silly, cows say moo!
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15. Knock, knock.
  -Who's there?
Owls say.
  -Owls say who?
Yep.
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16. Knock, knock.
  -Who's there?
Tank.
  -Tank who?
You're welcome!
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17. Knock, knock.
  -Who's there?
Little old lady.
  -Little old lady who?
I didn't know you could yodel!
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More Kid-Tested Jokes


18. What is brown and sticky?
-A stick!
Deborah from Learn With Play At Home
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19. Why did half a chicken cross the road?
- To get to his other side!
JDaniel4'sMom from JDaniel4sMom
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20. What's mom and dad's favorite ride at a fair?
- A married-go-round!
Henry son of Laura from PlayDrHutch
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21. Where do cows go on Friday night?
- To the MOOOvie theater.
Krissy from B-Inspired Mama
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22. What did zero say to eight?
- Nice belt!
Danielle from Mommy and Me Book Club
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23. Where do sheep get their wool cut?
- At the BAAAbars!
Deborah from Learn With Play At Home
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24. Knock, knock.
-Who's there?
Banana.
-Banana who?
Knock, knock.
-Who's there?
Banana
-Banana who?
Knock, knock.
- Who's there?
Orange.
-Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?
Danielle from 52 Brand New
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25. Where did the king keep his armies?
- In his sleevies!
Kristin from Sense of Wonder
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26. Where do library books like to sleep?
- Under their covers!
Kim from Adventures in Reading with Kids
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27. Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself?
- Because it's two-tired!
From The Iowa Farmer's Wife
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28. Knock, knock.
- Who's there?
Yourself.
- Yourself who?
Your cell phone's ringing you better answer it.
From The Iowa Farmer's Wife
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29. How do you make a tissue dance?
- Put a little boogie in it.
Kate from Picklebums
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30. Knock, knock.
- Who's there?
Smell mop.
- Smell mop who?
(Potty humor at it's finest)
Rachelle from Tinkerlab
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I hope that you discovered a few new ones, or rediscovered a few old ones (jokes as well as blogs)! Do you have a kid-friendly joke? Please share! You can leave a comment on this post or share your funny on my Facebook page


202 comments:

  1. AWESOME list! Thanks for including Henry's joke!

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  2. LOL. Ahh, those kid jokes get me every time :)

    What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper

    What's black and white and red all over? A zebra with sunburn.

    haha. :) What a fun post!

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  3. Such a fun post! I loved reading all of these, some i haven't heard since childhood! Thanks for including ours!

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  4. Great list, Joyce! My fave is why is 6 afraid of 7? My daughter already knows it, although she uses any random combo of numbers - haha

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  5. Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Do you know how to drive this thing??"

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  6. And another classic...

    Two muffins are in an oven.

    1st muffin: Hey doyou think it's getting hot in here?

    2nd muffin: Ahh! A talking muffin!

    Love these joles. They always make me laugh.

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  7. so fun! ... will share with the kiddos!

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  8. If you or your kids like #6, you must listen to "789" by They Must Be Giants. It's a fun song.

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  9. thank you for these! sometimes we get so stuck on the same ones. way cute! one of my daughter's fav's right now is your #13 joke, which was new to me when she told it to me. her other fav is: "Q: why did the spider cross the road?" A: "to get t his web site!" the weird part is that she learned it from a classmate at waldorf school. go figure!

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  10. What an incredible list of jokes! I heart jokes...and try to dole one out at the end of every therapy session I do with young kids! These are great! Ironically, earlier today I was thinking about a post for which I needed some jokes to link to. These would be FAB! I hope you don't mind if I link to this post?

    Keep shining bright,
    Wendy

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  11. Haha! Awesome list! Charlotte is really into jokes right now, we've been checking out joke books from the library. I can't wait to read these to her at breakfast, she always gets so excited about learning a new joke to try out on Daddy :)

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  12. How did cookie monster feel after eating a whole box of cookies in bed? Pretty crummy!
    2 monsters are eating a clown, one monster turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?"
    What has 4 wheels and flies?
    A garbage truck

    I love this wonderful collection of jokes! I hope you don't mind if I pin it to my "fun & games" Pinterest board! Thank you!

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    Replies
    1. I love all three of yours! So funny, especially the garbage truck!

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  14. Tee hee! I feel like a 5 year old :)

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  15. Q: if your an American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom?
    A: you're a peein (European)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And if you're in a hurry...
      You're a Russian!

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    2. What do you call a bear with no teeth.....

      Gummy bear

      Delete
  16. Great list! We love jokes around here--you've given us lots of new ones!

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  18. This is a great list! My son is always asking me to tell him a joke but I don't know any so I'm pinning this! His favourite joke is "What do you call a skunk who flies a helicopter? A smelly-copter!"

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  19. I had to giggle as a read through these! What fun!

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  20. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
    - a gummy bear!

    -Andie R.

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  21. What do you call a cow with no legs?

    GROUND BEEF!

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    Replies
    1. What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
      Lean beef:)

      Delete
    2. What do you call a cow that's shaky?
      Beef jerky ; )

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    3. Hahaha! That's awesome!

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    4. Whats the oppisit of ground beaf sky beaf

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    5. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman a frostbite what do you get when you shak a cow a milkshake where dose a snowman keep his money a snow bank where dose a poler bear vote a north pole ooo fact(this is not a joke)laghing is good for your heart so keep laghing and telling jokes

      Delete
  22. this is such a cute list! little people are soo funny!

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  23. What's red and invisible?
    No tomatoes!

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  24. I cannot thank everyone enough! For reading and commenting, and for adding their jokes. :) There's so many hilarious jokes in this comment section alone!

    Carolyn @Mama's Little Muse, I would love for you to pin my post. Thank you so much!

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  25. Love all the jokes - in the post and the comments. My 6 year old loves jokes, I will have to share them with her.
    My fav from childhood is.

    Why were the hamburgers embarrassed in the fridge?
    Because they saw the salad dressing.

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  26. Some of these might not be kid friendly, but a majority of them are:
    http://theoatmeal.com/djtaf/

    Corny jokes are my favorite, even as an adult!

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  27. How do you catch a squirrel?
    Climb up a tree and act like a nut!

    That one is a favorite of mine!

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  28. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
    In case he got a Hole in One!

    Why did the window go to the doctor?
    Because it had panes!

    Why are owls always invited to the party?
    Because they are such a hoot!

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  29. Did you hear the joke about the bed?
    It hasn't been made up yet!

    Did you hear the story about the corduroy pillow?
    They say it made head lines!

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  30. What is red and holds water?
    ~ a red bucket

    What is blue and holds water?
    ~ a red bucket in disguise!

    Another good one that goes along with your knock knock interupting cow is interupting starfish and you "palm the persons face" (star fish 5 arms, hand 5 fingers)

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  31. Love it! My mom told my 3 littles this one and they loved it... figured I'd share.

    Why did Tigger have his head in the potty?

    He was looking for Pooh!

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  32. What do you call a cow with 1 leg?

    A steak!

    What do you call a cow with 2 legs?

    Lean beef!

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  33. How does a pig get to the hospital?

    In a hambulance!

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  34. Knock knock!

    Who's there?

    Atch.

    Atch who?

    Bless you!

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  35. Pete & Repeat were sitting on a wall. Pete fell off.
    Who was left???
    "Repeat"
    Ok, Pete & Repeat were sitting........

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    Replies
    1. We always sat them in a boat...lol

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    2. That joke was so funny thats my fav joke how do you make seven an even number take out the s why are gosts bad liars because you can see through them how do you make fruit punch give it boxing lessons

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  36. How do you catch a unique rabbit?

    *You neak (unique) up on it.

    How do you catch a tame rabbit?

    *Tame way, you neak up on it!

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  37. why did the elephant sit on the marshmellow?

    because he didn't want to fall in the hot chocolate.

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  38. pinning this as a reference for when my son gets into jokes! love the picture of R at the top of your post. so cute!

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  39. Great list of kids jokes! My boys are always looking for some funny ones and these are PERFECT and kid friendly. Thanks for sharing this.

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  40. pete and repeat sitting in a baot pete fell out who was left? repeat ok pete and repeat sitting in a......

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  41. Why do gorillas have such big nostrils?
    cuz they have such fat fingers!

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  42. Pahahah! These are great! So much better than my 3 year-old's "Knock Knock, Who's there?, Lemonade, Lemonade Who?, I left it in your hair."

    I found you via pinterest & I'll be telling these jokes ALL DAY to try & get that crazy Lemonade knock knock joke out of my head.

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  43. LOve!!! We're so into jokes right now! My daughters favorite...
    Why did the bee get married?
    Because she found her honey!

    Thanks for such a great list!!!

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  44. LOved this!!! plus all the added jokes. heres another one - slightly potty but not really - "What are 100s and 1000s? Smartie Poos!!" :)

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    Replies
    1. Ok this is better where do bees go potty the bp

      Delete
  45. Thank you! We have been listening to the same few jokes at the dinner table for months! Here are a couple of my daughter's favourites:

    What is a baby's favourite constellation?
    - the big diaper!

    Knock knock
    - who's there?
    Doris
    - Doris who?
    Doris shut! That's why I knocked!

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  46. Found you on Pinterest! Those are great jokes! Here's another good one! What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!

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  47. Miss E's favorite joke of the list was #21. The cows going to the MOOOOvie theater.

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  48. My daughter just loved these! Thank you for sharing these with us!

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  49. My 5 and 7 year olds favorite is "What did Batman and Robin become when they got ran over by a steamroller?" "Flatman and Ribbon!"

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  50. My nephews new favorite is...."what do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow???? Blue cheese!"

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  51. One evening after everyone was lost in giggles from a long list of great jokes, my niece pulled this one on me:

    "What happens when you throw a rock in the ocean?

    It gets wet."

    After a series of "witty" jokes, this plain one was even funnier! LOL

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  52. My son's first knock knock joke from around 4 years back:

    Knock Knock

    Who's there?

    Apple.

    Apple Who?

    Apple on the refrigerator door handle. (I pull on the refrigerator door handle) Get it?

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  53. I decided to check one more "Pin" before going to bed, I am so glad that it was this one! Here is one of my favorite jokes: Where do you get dragon milk? From a cow with short legs!

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  54. am filing this away for when I need to change the mood at home.... :)

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  55. Years ago when my son was a Cub Scout, this was told at a Pack Meeting: What's the difference between boogers and broccoli? Why, a Boy Scout won't eat broccoli! I enjoyed these reminders of fun times with my kids! It made me laugh!

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  56. Great jokes!

    What did the ocean say to the airplane? Nothing, it just waved!

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  57. Why can't S and H talk?

    Because everybody says "Shh" when they see them.

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    Replies
    1. Lol I love that one

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    2. Haha love that one

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  58. Had to let you know that even my 11 & 13yos thought these were hilarious

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  59. My daughter found this site that were pretty funny... 101kidz.com: Kid Jokes

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  60. My grandson asked me, " why don't they give tests at the zoo? Because there are too many cheatas!" LOL

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    Replies
    1. What animal do you never play a game whith a cheata

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  61. What does a pig use to fix it's boo boo's? OINKMENT!!!!!

    These are great. Can't wait to share with my five year old tomorrow.

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  62. What did Ernie say to Bert when he offered him some ice cream?

    Sherbert!

    What do you call a guy...
    Floating in the water...Bob!
    Hanging by a wall...Art!

    What do you call 2 guys hanging around a window?
    Curt and Rod!

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  63. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  64. Oh these are funny, can't wait to share them with the little jokesters in my family today!
    http://wwww.practicallyperfectprincess.com

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  65. Here are 8 more corny jokes: http://jessejoyner.com/eight-original-corny-jokes/

    Thanks for putting these jokes all in one place for easy reference!

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  66. just wanted to share another interrupting one. same idea as the cow.. but its interrupting starfish. and instead of making a noise.. you grab their face with a wide open hand. haha. enjoy :)

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  67. just wanted to share another interrupting one. same idea as the cow.. but its interrupting starfish. and instead of making a noise.. you grab their face with a wide open hand. haha. enjoy :)

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  68. My all time favorite and I only heard it as an adult....

    What happened to the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn?
    .....She had mittens!

    LOL! Hope you love it to! So cute!

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    Replies
    1. Wwwwoooowwww sssooo ccccuuuuttteee





      Delete
  69. Two of my faves:

    Why was the baby strawberry sad?
    Because his mother was in a jam!

    When is a door not a door?
    When it's ajar!!

    Hehehe :)

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  70. What's the difference between a vampire and a man with a bad cold?
    One sleeps in a coffin and the others coughing in his sleep

    Why did the cinnamon roll?
    He saw the apple turn over.

    What do you call a cow with a twitch?
    Beef jerky

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  71. Thanks for this! I found these jokes on pinterest, and my girls and I have just enjoyed a hilarious breakfast!

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  72. My all time favorite!!!

    "Why do elephants paint their toe nails red?"

    -I don't know

    "So they can hid in cherry trees! Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?"

    -NO!

    "THEN I GUESS IT WORKS!!"

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  73. Great jokes. A few more for you

    Knock knock
    Who's there
    I'm up.
    I'm up who
    Haha. I thought I smelt something!

    Two cows in a field. One says moo. The other says, wow that's so weird I was just about to say that!

    Why did the baker wash his hands?
    Cause he needed a poo. (kneaded) (eeew)

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  74. How cute! Here's my all-time favorite:

    Where do eskimo pigs live?

    In pig-loos!

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  75. what did the grape say when it got stepped on?
    - Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

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  76. When is a bicycle not a bicycle?

    When it turns into a driveway!

    Two snakes In the garden, one turns to the other and says" hey, man, are we poisonous? The other says, why? " cause I just bit my tongue"!!!

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  77. Love them all! Gonna over again and collect ones that I can throw at my kids in the morning.

    There's one I usually use that stumped most of people:

    Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?

    Because it's a high school!

    Cheers with thanks

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  78. Great to have more jokes for the kids!
    Our faves that I don't see here:
    Q: What has 4 wheels, and flies?
    A: A garbage truck!

    Q: If April Showers bring May Flowers, what do May Flowers bring?
    A: Pilgrims!

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  79. How do you catch a squirrel?
    Climb up a tree and act like a nut!

    That one is a favorite of mine!

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  80. I am sharing your post on my Facebook Page... Thank you so much for sharing. My kids love it!

    https://www.facebook.com/the36thavenue#!/the36thavenue/posts/513775928648613

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  81. What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall?

    DAM!

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  82. This is one of my son's favorite!

    What do you call an aligator in a vest?

    An investigator

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  83. What do nosy peppers do? Get jalapeño business!

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  84. 3 tomatoes were walking down the street. A Momma, Daddy and baby tomato. Baby Tomato was falling behind so Daddy tomato went up to him and said "Catch-Up" ( I say this while I Stomp the ground) (sounds like ketchup)

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  85. What goes 99-clunk, 99-clunk, 99-clunk? ..... A centipede with a wooden leg!

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  86. These are all great!! I love all of the ones in the comments too. My girls enjoyed them. Here's another one:

    Q: What was the TV doing at the beach?
    A: Channel surfing

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  87. Two peanuts were walking through the woods and one was assaulted (A salted) Tee Hee :P

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  88. Knock. Knock.
    Who's there?
    Ding dong.
    Ding dong who?
    Ding Dong! Just installed the doorbell!

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  89. These are all great! Thank you! My 5 year old was laughing pretty hard!!

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  90. hahah sooo cute!! My nephew (7 yrs) makes up his own jokes... they're the best :)

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  91. What did the pink panther say when he stepped on a bug?
    Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead annnnnnt. (Said to the tune on his theme music)

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  92. Why do seaguls fly over the sea and not the bay?

    Cause then they'd be bagels!

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  93. My granddaughter's favorite:

    What's old and wrinkled and belongs to grandma?

    Grandpa!

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  94. Why were Tigger and Piglet looking in the toilet? They were looking for Pooh!

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  95. Great jokes!
    Q: What is the funnest fruit?
    A: A ki-weeeeeee!

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  96. These worked! Both my boys are in hysterics. The 8 year old has tears rolling down his cheeks and I've been instructed to 'print them out mum'.

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  97. Awesome!
    Q: What does a blind deer call himself?
    A: I have no-eye-deer!

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  98. Why did the cow cross the road?
    He wanted to go to the moooovies.


    Why did the horse cross the road?
    He wanted to visit his neighbours.

    ReplyDelete
  99. What kind of noise annoys an oyster?

    A noisy noise annoys an oyster.

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  100. Ha ha. my 5 yr old asked me to tell her a joke today and i couldn't think of one(!!!) so this will be helpful!
    She likes this one:

    What's stinky and flies?
    A smellycopter!

    And this:

    What's a dinosaur called when its sleeping?
    A dinosnore!

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  101. My youngest had a favorite joke when she was in the 2nd or 3rd grade:
    A mushroom went to a party and asked some girls to dance. The girls said no and he said, "Oh, come one, I'm a fun guy!" - (funghi)

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  102. Q: what did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? A: Bison

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  103. I loved these!! A few days ago when my family was camping, one of my cousins said to the little kids:

    What do you get when you throw a grenade into the kitchen?

    One of the little kids replied: A whipping.

    (The actual punchline is "linoleum blown apart", but we thought the little kid's relpy was much funnier!)

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  104. Did you hear the joke about the skunk?

    It stinks! Bahahahaha

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  105. Q. what do you call an illegally parked frog?

    A. Toad! (towed)

    ReplyDelete
  106. Knock Knock.
    Who's there?
    Smell mop.
    Smell mop who? --- you laugh.

    (aka the person ends up saying "smell my poo)

    ReplyDelete
  107. One of my favorites is:

    Q: What is green and has wheels?
    A: Grass, I lied about the wheels!
    Hahahahaha!

    ReplyDelete
  108. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

    Because he felt crumby

    ReplyDelete
  109. This has to be the best thing I've read in weeks - months even. So many childhood memories came flooding back!

    Q. How do you know when an elephant has been in your fridge?
    A. Footprints in the butter!


    Q. How do you know when he's still there?
    A. Can't shut the door

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  110. Oh ... and further to the one about the elephant who painted his toenails red?

    Q. How did Tarzan die?
    A. Picking cherries.

    ReplyDelete
  111. My daughter joke since she was 3.

    Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    Pickle in a tree....get it?

    We never have but it's still funny 6 years later.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whenever I hear anything abou a pickle i think "i got a pickle. I gotapickle. I got a pickle hey, hey, hey!" oh, i love little rascles.

      Delete
  112. What fruit can not get married?
    A Cantaloupe (can't elope)

    ReplyDelete
  113. How do you know when the moon is about to go broke? It's down to its last quarter .

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  114. How do you know when the moon is about to go broke? It's down to its last quarter .

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  115. How do you tell when the moon is about to go broke? it's down to its last quarter.

    ReplyDelete
  116. My son's favorite: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had no body to go with!

    ReplyDelete
  117. Juan M. - Redondo Beach, CANovember 15, 2012 at 1:38 AM

    Good jokes!
    I tell jokes to my kids on the drive to school. I have already read almost all the jokes on the net, and these ones are pretty good!

    ReplyDelete
  118. Joke

    What kind of fish has two knees

    A. A two-knee(tuna) fish

    My son thinks he is a stand up comedian now was all these jokes. Makes HIM laugh every time

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  119. LOVED this! Thanks for sharing these. :)

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  120. What did the ocean say to the other...
    Nothing it just waved!
    SEA what I did there!
    I'm SHORE you did!

    ReplyDelete
  121. Similar to the above deer joke... What do you call a deer with no eyes? ... No eye deer. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? ... Still no eye deer.

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  122. what kind of key does not fit into a key hole _ a monkey! or donkey or turkey =D

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  123. Thanks for sharing these, I used a few of them in the printable joke notes I created for my son's lunchbox. I shared the free printable and the link to your post in my blog!

    http://momhascooties.blogspot.com/2013/01/lunch-box-notes.html

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  124. Love 'em, thanks. Here's one my son made up...
    Why was Superman late for Halloween?
    Because of all the creep-tonite! (Kryptonite)

    ReplyDelete
  125. Lol these are great I still have a book from when I was in the 5th grade and it has some pretty good ones its called dumb jokes for smart kids.
    Here's one: why did the tomato blush?
    Because her saw the salad dressing
    And another one that made me laugh was when a kid at my work came up to me and he looked really sad so I said what's wrong and he goes I got kicked out of the zoo and I was like oh goodness why and he then smiles really big and flexes his muscles and goes for stealing these pythons ha ha :-)

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  126. A: What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
    B: I don't know.
    A: So you're the one!

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  127. I love these jokes! My 13 year old laughed at them! What do you call a scared cow? Beef jerkey. What did George Washington say to his men before they got on the boat? Men, get on the boat. (love that one and the next for a break from all the puns) what did the farmer say when he lost his wheel for the tractor? Where is my tire? Last one. What did the farmer say while looking for his weel? You picked a fine time to leave me lucile! (lucile...loose weel...get it? The words are sung too!!

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  128. Here are some more jokes:
    I have a deer hidden in my back yard. What is his name? Answer: John Deer

    What is black and white with read all over:
    Answer:A newspaper

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  129. Thanks for such an extensive list. The kids will love these!

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  130. Thanks for the new jokes to add to my sons repertoire! My mom always tells the kids this joke: "How do you catch a unique mouse? Unique up on it!" Enjoy!

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  131. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

    Because he felt crumbie.... :)

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  132. Nothin' like some good jokes! :)

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  133. How do you catch a unique rabbit? You 'neak up on it.
    How do you catch a tame rabbit? The tame way! Thought if share mine :)

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  134. Cool Jokes. Gave me a laugh!

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  135. Why did the turkey cross the road?

    Bcuz he heard Thanksgiving was around the corner!

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  136. i have another joke whats the largest ant in the world? (Answer) Antarctica!!! LOL

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  137. My kids favorite. Why did the robber go through the car wash after the robbery?
    He wanted a clean getaway :)

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  138. Knock knock
    Who's there?
    I eat mop.
    I eat mop who?
    hehehehehehe

    You really have to say it out loud to get the full effect.

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  139. hahahhhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha i love it!

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  140. What's green and stands in the corner?
    A naughty frog!

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  141. Knock,knock
    Whos there
    I ate a pile up
    I ate a pile up who
    That's why your breath smells bad

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  142. these were very funny

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  143. here is a joke: why did the skeleton not cross the road? because he didn't have the guts to do it

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  144. What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
    A Flat Minor!

    What do you get when you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?
    Hot Cross Bunnies!

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  145. Oh my gosh! My oldest is sooo into jokes. I'll have to use quite a few of these on her, because usually it's dad that has the joke talent in the house. Mom needs to keep up! Thanks for the post! :-)

    http://thisfineday.com

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  146. what computer should Mike Rowe make?



    Mikerowesoft
    ------------

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  147. Joke:
    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    To get to his friend's house.

    Knock, Knock.
    Who's there?
    The chicken.

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  148. How do you catch a unique rabbit?
    Unique up on it.
    How do you catch a tame rabbit?
    Tame way; unique up on it.

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  149. George: Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Harold: Why George?

    George: So he could get to the other side.

    Harold: ... That was original George.

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  150. These jokes, as well as the ones in the comments, are hilarious. Here's a really old one:
    Q: Why couldn't the Internet get through the door?
    A: It got inferred
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Knock Knock
    Who's There
    Better
    Better Who?
    Better Open The Door

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  151. awesome jokes, brought back some memories. Now will begin new memories for my grand kids.. thanks

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  152. Why did the spider cross the road?

    Why?

    To get to his web-site!

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  153. joke; what is a piarate's favorate letter?

    person; R

    ANSER; RRRRRR you would think so but its really the sea.


    why couldn't the piarate finish the alphabet?

    ANSER; he got lost in the sea.

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  154. Heres one from my daughter:

    What did the light say to the driver?
    Don't look, am changing!

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  155. Why did the milk go to the doctor office? Cause it had a little spill.

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  156. I thought myself these were funny jokes. Cute

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  157. How is getting up at 6am like a pig's tail?
    Answer: It's twirly!

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  158. why was the dog hot ..... because he was a hot dog

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  159. the jokes i read was funny .

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  160. the jokes were really funny

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  161. What do you call a mean amphibian?
    Answer: A bully frog

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  162. Great list! really cute for young kids.

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  163. Really funny , i,'ve got one too.
    Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Lettuce
    Lettuce who?
    Lettuce in the club and will tell you!
    Made it up!

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  164. Why did the turtle cross the road?
    To get to the Shell station.

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  165. I love it so much going to entertain them

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  166. I just do not get some of these jokes really

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  167. Alaskan joke:
    Q: What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal?
    A: A polar bear

    Knock knock
    who's there?
    Gus
    Gus who?
    That's what you're supposed to do!

    Knock knock.
    Who's there?
    Dwayne.
    Dwayne who?
    Dwayn the bathtub, I'm dwowning!

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  168. What did 0 say to 8?
    Nice belt!

    What's the best way to talk to a monster?
    From a distance.

    Why did the lion eat a lightbulb?
    He wanted a light lunch.

    What goes snap, crackle, squeak?
    Mice Krispies.

    What happens when you step on an orange?
    You hurt it's peelings!

    Enjoy! :D

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  169. What do you call a deer with no eyes?

    No eydeer(no idea)
    What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs? Still no eydeer

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  170. why did the pumpkin cross the street she wanted to become a jack-o-lantern

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  171. Some of these jokes are really funny.My second grader adores them and I plan to teach her some of these for a nice ice breaker at school.I also get to encourage her to read and retain information and work on her social skills at the same time.I found a new activity to share with my children.Thanks

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  172. what goes up a hill, down a hill, but never moves? -- A road

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  173. Loved all the jokes!!! One of my students told me this one.
    What did the green grape tell the purple grape?
    "BREATHE!!!!"

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  174. i love these!
    why did the rooster cross the road?
    to prove he wasn't chicken!

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  175. What happened when the butcher backed into his meat grinder?

    He got a little behind in his work.

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  176. What di you call a dinosaur with no eyes?



    D'youthinkhesaurus

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  177. what happens when you drop a piano on a mine
    a minor be flat

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  178. My dad used to tell me this one as a kid. Most people don't find it funny but for some reason I find it hilarious!
    Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit?
    A: Unique up on it.

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  179. Q: did you hear about the corduroy pillow ?
    A: it's creating headlines everywhere.

    Q: What nationality is Santa Clause ?
    A: North Polish.

    Q: How do you spell fish with one eye ?
    A: Cover one eye and spell fish / or
    A: Just make the sound FSH.

    A few of my favorites from the G rated joke book.

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  180. Lol.what does a ghost eat on his bagel?scream cheese!what kind of key doesn't go through the door?a monkey!what travels around the world but stays in one corner?a stamp!

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